Top 5 Relational Tips

15 January 2020

In our latest series ‘Flourish’, we'll discover what it looks like to thrive in the four domains of life: physical, relational, vocational and spiritual.

We’ve asked people from across City on a Hill to share their top 5 practical tips on what it looks like to flourish in each domain.

Today's tips are 'relational'.

We hope these tips will help you to cultivate healthy habits, draw you closer to Jesus, and truly flourish in life.



Deidre from City on a Hill Melbourne West
  1. Prayer - give your day to God and praise him. We are his hands and feet and we might be the only Christians people in our lives know. Some people in our lives may have had really hurtful and negative experiences of church. If that’s the case let them speak, and apologise for their pain they have experienced.
  2. Be loving and non-judgemental, don’t feel it’s your job to correct people. Unless you feel a strong leading by the Holy Spirit, let the weekly sermons (through his word) bring about change in people’s lives.
  3. Constantly look out for opportunities to speak to people. Yesterday at highpoint shops so I talked to a lady and asked her whether she celebrated Christmas. I found out so much about this lady and her family, invited her to church and gave her Gideon bible. Praise God!
  4. Every night I pray with my husband for our gospel community family and their needs. I also pray for family at church and anyone the holy spirit places on our hearts.
  5. It’s all about God in everything I do, I want to put him first. I want to imitate him to the world. And when we do fall short, apologize to people and to our loving Father.




Faye from City on a Hill Melbourne East
  1. Cherish your relationship with Jesus above all else, pour out your heart to him and depend on him to minister to your deepest parts.
  2. If you’re experiencing difficulties with significant people in your life, talk to someone you trust, there’s a chance you may feel better. If trust is hard for you, then take a risk and choose to move towards trusting someone safe.
  3. In relationship with another, be vulnerable and embrace mutuality above individualism. See the other, hear them, respect their story, hold back judgement and give and receive.
  4. People who are good at relating are people whose words are helpful. Use words that help others.
  5. Make time for play with a significant other. Enjoy a time with the sole purpose to have fun.



Katelyn from City on a Hill Brisbane
  1. If you find yourself thinking of someone, take the opportunity to pray for them and send them a quick message to let them know.
  2. Become a curious listener in conversations. As well as hearing the words someone is saying, pay attention to their tone, facial expression and body language – then ask good follow-up questions.
  3. Let people know that you value and appreciate them (and why!)
  4. Cultivate relationships with people who are a few seasons ahead of you, and with people who are a few seasons behind you.
  5. Be a friend who remembers special days and moments. When you hear about an event or milestone coming up, pop it in your calendar. Send them a text, remember to ask about it the next time you see them, or even better – show up!



Lauren from City on a Hill Melbourne
  1. Remember the important (and not so important) things - Celebrate birthdays, pray about job interviews, send a text asking about their week, remember how they take their coffee.
  2. Be vulnerable - Make the intentional decision to be honest and share the hard things about your life, and this will encourage them to do the same.
  3. Love people how they best feel loved - What will make one person feel appreciated will make another feel unheard, so get to know your people and what they need.
  4. Invest- Prioritise the relationships in your life by investing your time and effort in them regardless of whether it’s in a season of joy or grief.
  5. Know that we’re all imperfect- Extend the grace, patience and forgiveness that you would want to receive from them (that Jesus so generously gives us!)